Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
