Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
