how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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