I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
