please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
