If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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