Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.