There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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