Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
