Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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  (406): That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays. http://tfl.nu/wjf7
  Replies (25) Good night (4943) Bad night (1001)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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  (256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5
  Replies (18) Good night (4059) Bad night (1139)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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  (970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed
  Replies (19) Good night (9407) Bad night (1575)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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  (203): he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on . http://tfl.nu/rwb5
  Replies (9) Good night (1505) Bad night (3422)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

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  (804): have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with http://tfl.nu/vxai
  Replies (6) Good night (1838) Bad night (729)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

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  (416): I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning http://tfl.nu/fy90
  Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (1243)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (4148) Bad night (817)
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  (626): View more from California

  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
  Replies (12) Good night (1572) Bad night (680)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.

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  (720): We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that. http://tfl.nu/jp9a
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (504)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

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  (713): You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin. http://tfl.nu/p64y
  Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (716)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.

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  (845): Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right. http://tfl.nu/xf55
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (477)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.

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  (845): The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing. http://tfl.nu/8zr7
  Replies (3) Good night (1863) Bad night (507)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.

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  (817): I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/tfur
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (785)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink

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  (705): how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink http://tfl.nu/hb4c
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (423)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.

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  (786): I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3w3a
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (317)

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