I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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