party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
