come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
