I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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