in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
