I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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