he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
