he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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