tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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