i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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