How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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