we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
where are you?
Hypothermia
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
