Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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