I'm really into asian looking animals
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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