Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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