Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
