god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
