So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
its liver damage thursday
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize