She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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