We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
