I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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