there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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