Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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