Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Michael Bay diarrhea
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
