So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize