would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
