I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
