Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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