just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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