Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
