Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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