I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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