So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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