i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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