Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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