how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
