i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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