My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
