i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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