Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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