I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
