When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
