im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
