One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
