I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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