Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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