I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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