My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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