How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
