so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
