you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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