you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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