In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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