drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
