Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
