I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize