So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
