Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just puked most of my soul out..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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