im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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